亲爱的

Justin says no one cares about blogs anymore; everyone's on Twitter. But something in me nags that I should be sharing part of this crazy day-to-day. Last year for a time I was writing 750 words a day. I hope I can write a few here. And then there's this fabulous VPN that allows me to pretend I'm surfing the internet from San Francisco. There are no excuses left. I will write.

The last few days it's just me in the bakery. TL our super-baker went back home to get her winter clothes. I miss her like crazy. She called me from inside the new subway in Chengdu, complaining about the strange system of exits, but mainly just wanting to brag. 洋气不? she joked, using a phrase she has made part of my everyday vocabulary. Literally, it's "Western-feeling" or, more loosely, "trendy, cool." I was 洋气 when I drove the electric bike (and wearing sunglasses, no less) to pick Justin up from the train station. She's 洋气 when her new winter hat and face-mask (do people even wear those in the West?) arrive. WY is 洋气 when she goes abroad for the second time in six months. Shelley is 洋气 with her silvery-sleek Mac and her silvery-sleek beauty. TL and ZY are 洋气 when they invite us over for a full table of dishes in their big new apartment. I doubt that lunch in the bakery kitchen - she and I hunched over rice and warmed up dishes on the wooden chair/table - counts as 洋气. But those are my favorite moments with her. The ordinary times. Volunteering to do the dishes and arguing over how much chocolate sauce goes on top of the mocha. Singing "遇见" and "我爱你" and "I've gotta have you." It's "You are in my way!" as we work around each other in the small space and "Please notice my baby!" when one of us is too busy to check the cake almost done in the oven. Her complaining about my messiness and me laughing at her fake-anger. Weathering the bad moods and exhaustion and conflicts and knowing the strange love between us is deeper than that of employee/employer, and won't break easily. I don't understand it. I don't understand why this tiny little Sichuan girl has come to matter so much to me. I don't understand how or why she came, but I am grateful, and I would do it all over again just to know her all over again.